1603 Church St., San Francisco, CA 94131

Blog

Procrastination! What’s wrong with me?

“Why can’t I just do it? Does that sound familiar? There are these certain tasks that you just never seem to get to. Paying bills? Cleaning? Opening emails? You always know in the back of your mind that they’re there, and that you’d benefit from doing them, but they keep getting pushed away.  Procrastination can lead to problems, but you probably don’t need me to tell you that. There are the direct consequences of shunning tasks — sometimes minor, sometimes more serious. The house gets dirtier, a business relationship suffers from lack of your attention, creditors start phoning you. There’s Read More →

A white man in a dress shirt holding his hands to his chin. He looks worried.

Anxiety, Get Thee Behind Me

One of the most common experiences that leads people to seek therapy is anxiety. Which makes sense. Anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling you’re having, maybe along with worries you can’t shake, so why not look for help from someone whose job it is to understand anxiety and to know what to do about it? I treat a lot of different presentations of anxiety, and one of the first conversations I have with a client on this topic will be: What’s the goal of our work on anxiety? This might sound like an unnecessary question. Isn’t the obvious answer, to get Read More →

A large white woman checks her phone for messages

Awaiting Your Reply

“I texted her forty minutes ago. Why is she ignoring me?” “Something is seriously wrong with this friendship. I sent that email two days ago, and no response.” Isn’t Internet communication great? You can click a button, and the other person gets your message — whether it be a few sentences, one emoji, or several pages — right away. And when the other person replies, we get their response immediately. Speak, answer, speak answer — it’s just like having a face-to-face conversation. Except, it’s not. If you were having an in-person talk with a friend, and your friend just stopped Read More →

A young biracial man looks sadly into the distance

Mistakes and Fallibility

“I can’t believe I did that. I’m a screw-up. How can I ever be proud of myself again?” I know how much it can hurt when we look back and realize that we’ve made a mistake — particularly a large one. And a painful truth is: No one (at least so far) ever gets access to a time machine. So we don’t get the chance to go back and fix mistakes in the past. How, then, do we live in a world where we did that ill-advised thing, and that we can’t change that it happened? But here’s the thing: Read More →

Practice Updates 2.0

It seems that lots of folks have been interested in talking about online  (as well as F2F) relationships with me, and so I’m expanding my practice to another half-day per week. So I have a handful of new open slots! Also, I’m noticing an increase in folks who are interested in my online counseling and therapy offerings. If you’ve never heard of such a thing — or think it might serve you well — by all means, take a gander.

Practice Update

I’m pleased to announce the two San Francisco office locations for my practice: FINANCIAL DISTRICT 256 Sutter St., 6th Floor San Francisco, CA 94108 NOE VALLEY 3896 24th St. San Francisco, CA 94114 My website has been rewritten and redesigned — take a look! If you haven’t checked out the particulars of my practice lately, take a moment to read about my specialties in: Internet Issues and Online Relationships Depression and Anxiety Harm Reduction of Substance Abuse Bereavement and Grief Couples Counseling Online Counseling Want to discuss anything more about these areas? Drop me a line.

A Facebook “Friend”: What Does That Mean?

Let me share with you something that happened to me that helps illustrate the way in which “connectedness” in social networking can lie in the eye of the beholder. About ten years ago, I was working at the same place as “Diane,” and she became a short-term friendly acquaintance. Since that project ended, I hadn’t seen or talked to her for all of those years, though through community connections her name would be mentioned from time to time. And she was a “friend” of dozens of my friends on Facebook. So about a year ago, when I received a Facebook Read More →

Presentation: Counseling Internet and Online Issues

I’m presenting a program on “Counseling Internet and Online Issues” at the 2nd Virtual Conference on Counseling — in Second Life! I’ll be talking about historical context, basic psychological features of cyberspace, and applicable examples of situations. It’s next Wednesday, 9/15, at 3 pm Pacific/6 pm Eastern, at the Counselor Education in Second Life center SLURL Port Dervon 44, 65, 26. It’s free. Please stop by!

Recap: LIFE 2.0 Film Panel

I spoke on the panel “Logging Off: Are Online Games Addictive?” at the San Francisco International Film Festival. As it turned out, the group conversation served a dual purpose. It was an adjunct to a screening of the film Life 2.0, which portrays various inhabitants of Second Life, but it also opened up a larger conversation about online experiences, the nature of addiction, and when and how we might decide that our online behavior is “a problem.”

LIFE 2.0 Film Panel: Is Online Gaming Addictive?

I’ll be appearing on a panel at the San Francisco International Film Festival entitled “Logging Off: Is Online Gaming Addictive?” as an adjunct to their screening of a documentary about Second Life entitled Life 2.0: Sunday, May 2 Film: 1:00 pm Panel: 3:00 pm Sundance Kabuki Cinema 1881 Post Street San Francisco, CA 94115 Tickets to the panel are free, but require a reservation. Stop by and join the conversation! Life 2.0 at the San Francisco International Film Festival

PAUL SILVERMAN, MFT LPCC

Managing relationships and emotions in the 21st century can be bewildering. Visit my blog for my thoughts about mental health, relationships — online and face-to-face — and coping with everyday stressors.

LOCATE ME

Paul Silverman | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, CA MFC49915 | Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, CA LPCC962 | California Board of Behavioral Sciences